Say It Ain’t So…woah woah
Stokke Update.
I know we decided we were going to do one Stokke blurb and that was that, right?
Wrong.
That was before I knew Allison is one of those blindingly attractive girls who torture us all by dating douche bags.
Check it:
Why does she have to subject all of us to this kind of tomfoolery?
Look at that guy. Just look at him.
Bottle of Belvedere Vodka he stole from his parent’s liquor cabinet and filled up with water? CHECK.
Signature Douchbagathon Fruitman’s Cap? CHECK!
Turd-Licking Face? YUP.
And what’s that?
What is that I see?
Is that a STUSSY shirt?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
HOLY MOTHER OF MERCY!!!!!
Those things went out of style in 1991. I can remember because I wore one in 1992 and got the snot kicked out of me by a bunch of surfer girls.
Man alive.
It would be one thing if she were dating the High School Quarterback. That would make sense. It would even make sense if she were dating the cute and loveable nerdlinger with the 4.0 and acne…you know, just to ensure that she’d get into Berkeley because of her grades as well as her hotness and athletic prowess.
But to be dating THIS??!?!?!
Ohhh, Zeus and his compatriots are laughing down at us right now. I can feel their cold-hearted ribbing.
I initially found out about this from Toph, who is my source for all things Stokke. And he, in turn, apparently found out about it HERE.
If there’s one good thing about all of this, it’s that we get more pics of our lovely little track and field tulip.
Unfortunatley, we have to watch her fauning all over this PROACTIV-client-in-waiting.
I mean, what the hell is in the water in SoCal lately?
This whole thing is only slightly more wretched than this:
Allison Stokke? Meet Emmy Rossum. Emmy Rossum? Meet Allison Stokke. Now kiss.
Douchebag, turd burglar boyfriends? Go shiver each other’s timbers in the Butt Pirate Parade, ok? You two are so far from worthy, it’s unbearable. My Heavens.
What are these beauties thinking?
Emmy Rossum: I’ll date Dicky McDorkerson here because he looks like a cross between Screech and Bill Nye the Science Guy, except with Jude Law’s wardrobe on.
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Someone PLEASE make the pain stop.
Do you have a lot of time on your hands buddy?
I googled Paris Hilton Idiot, and came across your page and a few of the pictures of her, and Alison Stokke, and it seems like you REALLY have too much time on your hands.
But at least you have something to say, and kept my attention… its more than i can say for most people.
Keep rolling darling!
You know, Stella, we do have a decent amount of time on our hands, here, and a decent amount of other soiled materials, as well.
And we’d say, judging by the sexiness of our blog and our posts, that we’re making excellent use of it.
We hope you continue to visit our page. We love you.
P.S. If we have too much time on our hands…then what does it mean if you’re sitting at your computer googling “Paris Hilton Idiot?”