Can’t Take da’ Ghetto Out da’ Brother.
You know the expression. “You can take a brother out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the brother.”
Ok, I don’t know if this is really an expression. In fact, it sounds really racist. It’s even worse coming from a cracker like myself. Although, I will admit that my ivory walls of Waspy institution serve as the perfect platform from which to pontificate. Holla. How’d you like that alliteration, bitches?
What’s on my mind today is just the flat out, blatant toughness of NFL players.
Has this fact really hit anyone else?
I’m really thinking about it for the first time today. Sure, we all recognize that these guys are some of the toughest human beings alive. It’s not just anyone that can stand around and go head-to-head with beasts that are over six feet tall, at least 250 pounds, and run a 40 yard dash in under four and a half seconds. Plus, these guys are paid to tear each other’s heads off…and paid handsomely for it, so it’s not like they’re unmotivated to be that bad ass.
But, we all know all this stuff already.
The toughness I’m talking about is more psychological and sociological in nature.
Think about the kind of stuff Michael Vick and Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson and almost every other NFL player have been associated with in the last couple years.
Michael Vick- Dog Fighting.
Doesn’t this kind of terrifying stuff only happen in movies and Mexico?
Or is that exactly why Mr. Vick is wearing a sombrero and a Ron Jeremyesque mustache in this picture?
Dog fighting.
Holy Moley.
After some brief research on the subject, it’s come to my attention that certain nations are particularly notorious for inventing and hosting the sport. Those countries are Afghanistan, Japan, Russia, and Pakistan.
Well, that pretty much explains it, doesn’t it? Or at least it makes sense?
Look at this laundry list of nightmares. Afghanistan, aside from dog-fighting, has also produced and harbored some of the world’s foremost terrorists. Pakistan has been battling India fiercely in everything for years, produces a crapload of drugs that are shipped to the East Asian countries, and also ends in “-istan,” which is Middle Eastern (neither a language, nor geographically appropriate, but you catch my drift) for “country of horror, illegal activities, and danger.” Russia pretty much speaks for itself, with Communism, Stalin, the Cold War, and their Hockey Teams having instilled fear in our hearts for years.
And Japan? Well, you might say this land of sushi and petite ladies and Sake is not scary, right? WRONG. They have ninjas. Enough said.
Point being that all these nations are tough as nails. So it makes sense that they harbor dog fighting. And if A=B=C, then Michael Vick, by virtue of the fact that he loves dog fights, is also tougher than beef jerky. It’s a simple algebraic proof.
Pacman Jones- Making It Rain/Everything Else
Ummmm….yeah.
Like that picture alone is not enough to indicate just how (to steal an adjective from Carl Pavano’s blog) “CORE” this guy is.
For what it’s worth, Pacman has had an incredibly difficult life. Among many other things, I’m sure, he’s had to endure his father shooting and killing himself when Pacman was just 10. If that won’t mess up the hard wiring in your brain, I don’t know what will.
Still, the altercations with the law speak for themselves.
2005-Assault and Felony Vandalism
2006-Disorderly Conduct, Public Intoxication, Resisting Arrest, Spitting on Two Different Women
2007-Making It Rain (Not that this is really a crime, but it sure is tough when you’re doing it with $81,000), Biting a security guard in the leg, Smashing an exotic dancer’s head into the stage, Threatening said security guard’s life, and being linked to a guy that eventually reentered the same club and shot three people, paralyzing one for life.
If that isn’t a three year track record, I don’t know what is. Plus, it was recently revealed on ESPN that Pacman just had a meeting with the commissioner. The comish asked him “What are you doing to remedy your behavior?” Pacman responded, more or less, that he was going to stop putting himself in bad situations and stop frequenting spots, like strip clubs, where trouble had found him in the past. Pleased with the answer, the comish then asked “And when was the last time you were at one of these clubs?”
Pacman’s answer? “Last night.”
HAHAHAHA!!!!! Amazing! This guy is so incredibly hard!
Tank Johnson- Gun Possession
Huh. Funny how similar this and Pacman’s picture looks. Are they the same person? Perhaps…they both have crazy nicknames (although Tank is a billion times more frightening than Pacman), they’re both badass, they both play in the NFL.
In any case, we’ll go through Tank’s transgressions pretty quickly.
In a nutshell, he’s been caught with every gun imaginable. Police even found assault rifles at his house in a raid. And this is on top of being charged for drugs and resisting arrest, as well. Yikes.
In case you needed it even more simplified, look at it like this:
1. The guy’s name is TANK!
2. Assault Rifles.
3. Resisting arrest and needing to be subdued by force and mace.
4. The name TANK.
5. Assault Rifles.
6. Repeat numbers 1 and 2 into infinity.
At this point, we’ve already belaboured the issues here. Clearly these guys aren’t indicative of the NFL population as a whole. They are a microcosmic view of what goes on in most of these guys’ lives.
At the same time, these guys are multi-millionaires. They are icons. And with the glory and the fame and the riches comes massive responsibility. These guys have to know they have entire nations of kids looking up to them and mimicking their actions. And they have to be held responsible to this end.
That’s why, although I don’t completely agree with it, I’m glad that Pacman got such a monstrous suspension. He’s a great talent and I think it’s unfair for him to be strung up for off-the-field issues for an entire season when this has never happened before.
BUT…the line has to be drawn somewhere.
I love that these guys are so horrifically tough. I love that they live like absolute rockstars. But I only love it because I can understand how ridiculous it all is. You would never see little 6 foot nothing, 200 and nothing pound me holding dogfights and fighting cops and shooting people. You would never see me making it rain.
At best, you might see me making it “sprinkle” a little bit by throwing all the cash in my wallet (ten bucks at most, all in crumpled ones) towards a homeless guy as I stumble home wasted.
All in all, the difference is that no one is watching me and everyone is watching them. And the admirable mental and physical toughness they display on the field is dwarfed by the unnecessary “toughness” they display in carrying guns, and abusing animals, and pushing, punching, biting, and shooting others. Unfortunately, much of their audience doesn’t realize that this second kind of “toughness” isn’t really tough it all. It’s cowardly. It’s weak-minded and weak-moraled.
If Tank Johnson is so bad, then why does he need assault rifles? If Pacman’s so hard, why does he pick fights with strippers one eighteenth his size? If Vick is so rough, why can’t he admit that he had a part in the numerous neglected and wounded dogs that were found in the house HE OWNS?!?!
All of these guys need to grow up. And that, for me, is the ultimate problem here. All these athletes are handed fame and money and power much too quickly.
Everywhere else in the world, you don’t start reaching the pinnacle of your career until well into your 30s and 40s. You have to earn your keep and prove yourself and once you’ve done that, you start to reap the rewards.
On the other hand, these guys barely even make it out of high school before they’re buying mansions by the dozen.
And this is why we can’t fault them.
Because they’re still too young to know any better.
straight cash homey.
haha… they needed a means to get the computer to it’s destination … questionable job well done… lol…